Considering Leaving Marraige?

I have been with my husband for 5 years, married 1. He is a heavy pot smoker, and I started almost two years ago after a car accident to try and relieve pain, and because I felt we would get along better (he also grows). He has also has a big porn addiction. I caught him right before he proposed to me on a trashy dating website telling a woman how beautiful she was trying to get pictures and I almost left him over it....Last month he had porn all over my house and I found out he was masturbating in a public place (Gym Sauna). Hell froze over. He was being lazy, not helping with the chores, never saves his money, and he is not very educated, we have never really had personal conversations and now I feel stupid. We are good friends but I am starting to wonder if he should have only stayed as a friend. We have sports in common and when we are doing something physical we are great, but when we go out to dinner or do something just the two of us he talks about construction and how he hates mexicans. I am in a business field, and I cannot talk to him about my job because he doesnt understand it and he doesn't really hold much value in it. I am a good looking woman, and I constantly have men wanting to sweep me away but I dont want to hurt my husbands feelings or feel like I failed. I have been silent for so long with my husband because of his temper and I just try to keep a smile on my face and suck it up, but I dont think I can continue. This last month I finally said something and we have been at odds ever since. I want someone who I can share a mental relationship with. I want to feel like I can talk to them about kids, money and life without feeling like I have to guide them every step of the way. I want to feel like I am taken care of rather than being the care taker. My husband has done a 180 recently with helping out and has been doing chores, cuddling with me, and trying to spend time, but I cannot seem to get the mental connection of feeling close to him. I am no longer smoking because of my jobs demands and I dont think it was really helping. I am lost and I need help. I want to go to a marriage counselor but I know when we do go he will complain about the money and having to take time off of work.