My mom is Apostolic and she makes me Apostolic and it makes me depressed?

First let me say that I am so sorry that you are going through this. It is very difficult for many young women apostolics. I myself am apostolic and ironically have a daughter that is almost your age ( she is 12) She has been struggling with the skirts and being an outcast at school. I completely understand how you are feeling. It is tough. What you are feeling is normal and you are NOT a horrible person. Not only are you "different" from so many others, You are also coming to an age in your life where you are trying to figure out who you are and who you want to be in this world. And also you have just gone through a very difficult time (the divorce). Divorce will shake our whole world up and cause great depression! I know because I was divorced in Nov. 2009. All three of my kids are in therapy and are trying to work through their feelings and confusion. Sometimes it seems like forever ago and then the next day it seems like it just happened. This goes the same for the kids as well. You've had to try and get use to a whole new life. But remember your mom has too. She is trying to do what she thinks is right. And she has probably found great comfort in her new found beliefs. I applaud her for searching out the Lord. Again she is trying to do what she thinks is right. I am not one to tell anyone that they should not listen and obey their parents. It is important that you do! However, you have to find your own salvation. Your mom will not be the one that you stand before on judgement day. You will stand before God almighty and you will stand alone to answer for the choices that you have made in this life. I don't believe that your mom hates you. In fact, Im sure she loves you very much! And even if you don't feel it, i think you realize that God loves you so much more. And that is reason enough to put the thought of suicide out of your mind. But don't feel guilty because you have thought about it. Guilt is what the devil uses most to hinder most of us in this world. Also, I am very upset that you feel like the people in your church are mean to you. I have to admit that I have met a few of those cranky people as well. It is a shame but it does happen. I will be praying for you. And I suggest that you talk to your mom about how you feel. Maybe you could go to another apostolic church. Also, it would definately help you to try and connect with people your age at your church. Try to go to as many youth rallies and conventions that you can and make as many friends that you can. Also, one little trick to fighting depression is dancing and singing. It doesn't have to be gospel music, but it should be positive. You would really benefit for just ten minutes of exercise (dancing & singing) a day. Well, I hope I've helped. remeber that you are responsibile for your salvation now. You are grown up enough now to start counting yourself reponsible for your own personal salvation. And as difficult as it may be, you should dress and be as your mother chooses. I will be praying for you and your family. It's tough to live by others restrictions.